


In The Name of Love

by kangelique



Series: The Captain Swan Playlist [7]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: "Changelings", Affection, Comfort/Angst, Deleted Scenes, Emma's vision again, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, Honesty time, I wanted more of Killian comforting Emma, In the name of love because I still fucking love Captain Swan and season 6, Killian being supportive and caring and I just like me some comfort, Season 6 Episode 9, fears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23251591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kangelique/pseuds/kangelique
Summary: “Would you rise up, come and meet me in the sky? Would you trust me when you’re jumping from the heights?  Would you call in the name of love?” she asked.“When the sadness leaves you broken in your bed, I will hold you in the depths of your despair, and it’s all in the name of love," he promised.Emma's vision returns with full force, and Killian is there to remind her of her strength when the doubts come creeping back in, whether it'd be by simply holding her in his arms or being her shoulder to cry on, he is there. He is always there.
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Series: The Captain Swan Playlist [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1327670
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	In The Name of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Figured it was time to add a deleted scene to this series. It's set...well the tags say, but to be clearer it's after Belle has given up Gideon and instead of Emma having the talk with Killian at the diner, she's gonna have a similar talk in their bathroom (I know, so romantic, right?) Anyway I tried. Also, maybe it's a little weird to add "Stay safe" here, but with the coronavirus going on, I hope you guys are staying safe and healthy.

**In The Name of Love:**

_Racing heart._

_Trembling hand._

_Labored breathing._

“No, no, no,” Emma whimpered softly as she stumbled out of bed, leaving the safety of Killian’s arms as she clutched her shaky fingers to her chest and ran to the bathroom. God, not here. Surrounded by darkness she tripped over her bare feet. Seriously not right now; he was sleeping. 

_They’re all watching._

_Can’t, can’t, can’t. Just won’t stop shaking._

_Sword raised, eyes blown wide._

Emma shook her head violently and bumped her shoulder into the door. Her small grunt was lost when she was sent spiraling into the floor face-first. The shock of her forehead striking the cool tiles was overrun by the shudder of anticipation rushing through her body, and she grit her teeth together tightly and squeezed her eyes shut before it came. Whether she wanted it to or not, it was going to come. She didn’t want it to, wasn’t that clear?

_Pounding heart._

_Gasp._

_Frigid metal piercing skin, twisting, pushing deeper._

_Beating suddenly stopped._

_Flash of black._

Beads of sweat clung to Emma’s forehead, coating her nose in a glistening moisture and sliding incredibly slow down the slope of her neck into the collar of Killian’s shirt. Little huffs of breath escaped her lips as she tried to stand, but her knees refused to budge and her stupid arms wobbled and her cheek collapsed against the cold again. Great. Her body was really serving as a motivator. Wait, what about the blood? Her mouth still open with her gasp, Emma quickly slipped her hand under the shirt and skimmed her abdomed with her palm, searching for blood. It would be warm if she’d been...the bundles of nerves burst out of her in a laugh and she buried her sniffle into her arm. Nothing. There was nothing. She was good, the hooded figure hadn’t killed her.

“Love?” He knocked softly on the door, and her lips twitched in a frown at the concern evident in his voice. Damn it, he was supposed to be asleep. “Darling, are you alright?”

Emma nodded, fully aware that she was far from alright, miles even, and fully aware he couldn’t see her, as usual a barrier between them, but she needed to nod. One deep breath and she would be ready to answer. She swallowed past the frozen lump in her throat and tried to inhale. Fuck, she still couldn’t breathe. Change of plans then. She reached her hand out to the bathtub, raising her head slowly, and pulled on the hem of the shower curtain harshly to drag herself forward. 

“Emma?”

“Fine,” she called out, and pressed her back against the wall. “Just...wanna be alone for a sec.” Lie, lie, lie. “Go back to bed, Hook.”

“The vision, it’s still getting to you,” Killian sighed. She closed her eyes and surrendered her chin to her knees, silence filling the space as he waited and she tightened her arms around her legs. He tugged on the knob pointedly, his patience obviously wearing just as thin as hers. “May I?”

Emma scoffed. “You sure you want to see this, it’s pretty ugly.” She wasn’t exactly a sight to behold right now, hadn’t been since they returned from the Underworld, a quivering mess at every corner. Which is why a second or two wouldn’t hurt, maybe more. Whatever time neccesary until she could be sure his warm chest and soft kisses on her neck and gentle carresses on her hair wouldn’t cause her to break down the minute she slipped back under the covers. How many times was he going to keep catching her like this? So much for being strong, so much for being the savior. She couldn’t even save herself. 

“In the name of love, my request to enter still stands.”

“That’s not fair,” Emma said, amusement weakly lifting the corners of her mouth despite how she was still curled into a ball on the floor, and if she had to be honest, wasn’t planning on removing herself anytime soon. 

“Pirate,” Killian quipped, and opened the door slowly. He stepped inside, and when his gaze landed on Emma’s barely restricted panting, his jaw ticked and he fell to one knee in front of her, stump finding her back to rub gentle circles as he covered her unsteady hand with his palm and smoothed his thumb over her wrist. “Hey, hey, look at me,” he whispered, ducking his head so his small encouraging smile was in her line of sight. “Deep breaths, sweetheart.”

She blinked doubtfully. No matter what, in and out had never been too helpful before, but as he stared at her with worry contorting his handsome face, in and out seemed like the only solution to wipe it away so she breathed and then actually breathed easier when he cupped her cheek, blue eyes burning tenderness. His arm wrapped around her waist and he sat back against the sink at the same time he pulled her forward and she crawled onto his lap without a word, shirt riding up when he brushed his palm higher along her thigh and finally settled it on her hip. 

He waited, she waited, they both waited for the hand curling around his neck to stop shaking so intensely, like she was continuing to fight a losing battle, and when Killian lightly ran his lips along the short length of her nose, leaving featherly kisses in his wake, her tense shoulders just finally sagged. 

“What happened to Belle, what she did, giving up her baby like that-” 

Killian shook his head resolutely, eyebrows furrowing. “This guilt must stop, Swan. I assure you, it wasn’t your fault. Neither of us could have known the Crocodile would go back on his word.”

“He’s Gold, that’s as much of an answer as anything.” He pressed his forehead into her cheek, and his tousled black hair blurred in front of her. “Do you realize Belle is just another person I swore to protect and look what happened, look what keeps happening.”

“You saved Ashley.” Yeah, but then again she’d almost didn’t. Every victory she’d ever had was a close call, and now she wasn’t only running on blind luck and half-practiced magic, fear had been added to the list of invisible things that rendered her useless when confronting the Evil Queen or Gold or _worse_ the figure under the hood. This time she was screwed. 

“Yeah and maybe that counts for something, but Aladdin wasn’t able to save Jasmine’s kingdom. If he couldn’t do it as the savior then what makes you think I’ll be able to save the happy endings? Bringing them back was one thing but…” Emma gripped his shoulder, fingernails digging into his skin, forced to check she was still alive and here and not under some hopeless illusion that she was dead, already dead before the figure even had a chance to do her in. She turned her head to burrow her face into the crook of his neck. Look at how nicely she’d retraced her steps, running away again by grabbing the little balls of hope and possibility and crushing them before anyone else could do it for her. Because she was Emma Swan, and that was her default setting. Her defect. “Killian, he gave up, he used those shears and it ended up worse for him-”

“Emma, listen to me. Your fate needn’t be dictated by his. You recall what I told you?” He asked, nudging her ear with his nose. “My Emma’s too strong.”

Was she really?

“I’m the savior and that means an official death sentence. My fate’s already been decided for me, I can’t change it.” He stiffened under her. Damn it, she had to stop talking like this. For fuck’s sakes she was supposed to inspire hope and light, and she was doing one heck of a horrible job at the moment. “I’m sorry, babe,” Emma mumbled, and pursed her lips to place a chaste kiss under his chin, stubborn fingers quivering as she resumed stroking the hair at his nape. 

“Whatever for?” 

She loved him. She loved this pirate, and she was going to be honest. She was done with these secrets she kept safely tucked for excuses. 

“On one of my visits to Dr. Hopper I told him you deserve a future, that I can’t give you that.”

“Swan,” Killian said apprehensively.

“It’s true.”

“Therefore I refuse it without you.” Likewise. It’s what had pushed her to follow him into the Underworld, holding onto this refusal that’d developed as Graham choked and collapsed unconscious before he even hit the floor, as she shoved Walsh off the balcony and the dinners spent with her and Henry making promises of ‘I love you’s went up in smoke, as Neal’s life ebbed away in her arms and his last wish became that she find Tallahasse with someone else, and losing. One. More. Person, _losing Killian_ simply wasn’t an option anymore. So why, why, why couldn’t she do the same thing for herself? 

“I told Henry I didn’t regret coming to Storybrooke because it finally gave me a family and you,” Emma breathed, cupping his cheek when she sniffed and angled his head so his cerulean depths conveyed their certainty into her blurry gaze. She smiled a small smile when he swiped his thumb under her eye one time, two times, three times. “But,” Her bottom lip quivered in a low whisper. “I’m scared. I’m so scared, I don’t want to die.”

She wanted her fucking future back. 

“You won’t,” Killian said through gritted teeth. “I forbid it. True love can trascend any curse, remember?”

“That’s not what this is though.” Emma closed her eyes, using his shoulder as a pillow. Nightmares, visions, reality had a way of taking a toll on her body, but her eyebrows furrowed and she chewed on her lip for a long time. It wasn’t any surprise she was a coward, a runner who would always be scared of not being his choice if the events had not transpired the way they did. What if… “Back in the beanstalk, after we’d just met, would you have-”

“Without a doubt, my love,” Killian said reverently, fingers sliding into her hair. Her eyes widened as he spoke softly against her forehead. “I would have followed you through the darkness, the silence if possible,” he said with a disbelieving little chuckle as she began to shake her head. “Knowing we’d arrive here would have failed to make a difference, truthfully."

“But what about all the hurt, all the crap from the Underworld.”

“I wouldn’t hesitate to do it all once more.” He sighed. “Perhaps you’ve forgotten that I love you, Emma Swan, more than anything.”

A smile broke across her face, and she shifted slightly in his arms and mumbled “I love you too” against his lips before she surged forward and captured them in a soft kiss. 

“Let’s get to it.”

“What?”

“You're right, it's still getting to me, so let's get to it.” Emma answered quickly. “What Belle did today reminds me why I fight, why I should fight. For the people I love. So let's go to Gold's shop, he’s not gonna suspect us coming in the middle of the night.”

Understanding arched his eyebrows. “You intend to find this sword?”

“I do,” Emma said steadily, and looked him straight in the eye when she nodded. “No more running.”

Killian grinned, and brought her stable hand up to brush his lips along her knuckles. “There’s the fight that I love,” he whispered. 

“Come on.” She tugged on their entwined fingers. “Let’s go find what kills me.”

_Watery smile._

_Unsure footsteps._

_Determined heart._

**Author's Note:**

> -Thanks for reading!
> 
> -Song: In The Name of Love by Bebe Rexha and Martin Garrix


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